Mike on a Bike
With apologies to Duck in the Truck by Jez Alborough.
This is Mike, riding home on his bike.
This is Mike, thinking of going on strike.
This is his manager (not giving a fuck),
And this is the office where Mike becomes stuck.
This is the schedule that drags Mike down.
This is the pay - makes him look like a clown.
This is Pat who, from his desk,
Moans at the world: "This is grotesque."
This is the push of Pat and Mike,
And this is the manager that tells them to pike.
This is the owner, driving home in his van:
"We're losing money, but let's give all to Japan!"
This is the talk of angry Pat and Michael:
"I won't leave now!" "It's a vicious cycle!"
This is the quiet as they think what to do.
"Got it!" says Pat, "I will bid you adieu!"
This is the crunch and mess and suck,
As Mike extricates himself out of the muck.
This is the push—and the harrowing scene—
As Mike and Pat sell Mike's washing machine.
This the happy, sleepy owner,
Relaxing at work and caressing his boner.
This is his ear, that hears Mike's polite pout:
"This is my notice; one month, and I'm out!"
This is the ingenious owner's plan:
"I'll hire as many gaijins as I can."
This is the push at the rear once again.
These are the shouts as the school takes the strain.
These are the wheels finally turning.
This is the budget finally burning.
This is Mike on his bike, pedalling fast,
Away, to the airport, unstuck at last!
This is Mike, flying home with his luck,
Leaving the manager, owner, et al.—
Stuck in the muck.