God is Gay
This poem appears in The Love of a Good Man.
Last we heard, God is gay.
Like, super gay, but not
In any particular way.
He's only a man who
Happens to like men—who
Happens to be God.
That's the problem, then: He's
Not, like, a baddie, but
There's just one of him.
He can't be his own damn daddy.
Last we heard, when he'd flick
His limp wrist—oceans boiled,
Scourges fell, skies would twist,
Bush burned… But now he's
Bored and, like, totally
Over all the halos,
Winged twinks in beige britches.
Hustling the coffee line,
God steps on Satan's tail,
"Out of my way, demon bitches!"
Last we heard, when, sweating,
God rushes into his
Office, he locks the door,
Draws the shades, takes a deep
Breath, takes a sip of his
Iced coffee, dials Death,
Spends hours on gossip.
He finally sits down
With dread: 345,123 unanswered prayers—
What, like, is this shit? Marked All Read!
Last we heard, there's a
Lot on God's mind. "How, like,
Ironic, then," he thinks,
"That I can't ditch this place."
He toys with a pen that
Has GOD LOVES FAGS printed
On it in sassy typeface…
But, just as he reaches
For Order for Plague's End—
His bedazzled mobile phone chimes.
(Last we heard from God), then,
CherubFinder reports:
"Hey! You've got a new friend."